Delving into birth stories.
I have listened to many birth stories in my treatment room, in women’s circles and on sofas with cups of tea. I love all the details, hearing about the twists and turns, the pain and determination, the trauma, the awe, disappointments and joy. Your birth story becomes part of who you are, it is a shared experience with your child and if you delve deep it is full of guidance in how to parent and traverse future life events.
Has anyone heard your birth story in full?
Most loved ones like to hear that mother and baby are well and then we carry on with being a parent which lets face it is quite consuming. We may talk to our partners, friends or other new mothers but we mostly hold back the detail of our birth story. Debriefing soon after the labour can be good for both you and your partner as you will have different perspectives. Sharing the highs and lows and filling in the whole story. Some women choose to write their experience down when its still fresh in their minds. This is a great keep safe to be re read and revisited. Though I do find a birth story can be recalled at any time in a women’s life and given a chance she is more than happy to share.
Why delve in?
When we share our story in detail by writing or speaking out loud we often reveal hidden trauma, discomfort or unresolved emotions connected to our experience. Working through any triggers can clear the way for consecutive conceptions and births. We can also discover our vulnerabilities and strengths which are great attributes for parenting. Ask yourself: What did your baby need from you to be born and what did you learn about yourself? Surrendering, patience, letting go, presence are good examples. By delving in deep with these questions you can discover how your child needs you to best parent them. Mothers often say that different children have varying needs and each birth brings new capacities to draw on.
Do you know your own birth story?
Have you asked your mother or know the details about your own birth? How far back on your maternal side can you gather information about their birth experiences? Over the generations the ‘normal’ birth for the time has changed, medicine has changed, policies have changed and society has changed. Saying this you may find when you look back there is a common theme of fertility, pregnancy and birth that you share with your female ancestors. It is then up to you how you continue with these inherited patterns. Are they positive and empowering or are you the one to break the mould and do it differently.
What you learn about yourself and your past history is not only useful for birth and parenting. We often find these themes in how we have navigated other life events like menarch (your first period), jobs, starting businesses, projects and relationships. Finding patterns in our behaviour not only reveals our strengths and capabilities but allows us to take responsibility of our lives and offers opportunity to change and grow in areas we get stuck in.
Sharing your birth story can offer more than just a story.
Find compassionate and willing ears, a professional or a journal, delve in and see what you reveal.
Kerry is available for consultation at Mornington Chinese Medicine on Tuesday and Friday.
To book please call 5973 6886.